Wanna Get Laid? Play The Guitar!

Keith Richards. Mick Mars. Angus Young.

What do they all have in common?

1. They aren’t exactly the definition of a catalogue model.

2. They get a lot more pussy than pretty much any normal guy, regardless of how good looking they are.

3. They are all guitarists.

Even Gene Simmons claims to have bedded close to 5,000 women and he looks like a moldy potato… even with make up.

And he’s a bassist!

The same applies to female guitarists.

Orianthi (Michael Jackson, Santana, Alice Cooper, etc) isn’t exactly the sexiest woman of all time.

However, when she straps on her guitar half of the audience are instantly nursing an erection.

Lzzy Hale of Halestorm looks a little bit like Mick Jagger, yet even she has teenage boys around the country blaming their Repetitive Strain Injury on extreme alternate picking exercises.

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You don’t even have to be that great a guitarist.

As long as you can pick the opening chord sequence to Enrique Inglesias’ ‘Hero’ at your next house party, your chances of getting laid are very high!

What Makes Guitarists Sexy?

That is the big question.

There is always the notion that an axe slung over your neck, around about crotch height, acts as a form of penis extension.

So providing that you keep your leather pants done up you will be fine!

Also, women love to see a man who knows how to move his fingers… not sure why that could be!

As for the female guitarists, from a male perspective, it’s good to see that they can handle a large piece of wood.

It’s also nice to know that once the honeymoon period of entering a relationship with a female guitarist is over, you could actually talk about things you have in common (guitars, amps, pedals) rather than face the dull, bland emptiness that so many long-term couples endure.

You also won’t get told off for splurging all your savings on that Gibson Les Paul you always wanted!

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In all seriousness, what probably makes us guitarists more attractive for the opposite sex is the fact that we have a talent that moves people.

Performing even the simplest of ballads can give an insight into your soul and heart and generate an emotional connection.

Plus, as we already identified, women do love to see a guy who knows how to use his fingers!

How About The Rest Of The Band?

Before your head gets too big, just remember that the singer will get the majority of the chicks at your next gig.

They are the centre of attention, so if you do wish to avoid this minor issue, learn to sing yourself and sack the singer!

The bassist will probably pull a few of the girls who wear glasses… why?

The main reason for this is because they can actually see that the bassist is playing a different instrument with less strings and one that requires less hard work to master.

The fat chicks usually tend to go for the bassist too, as they are usually of a larger frame too.

As for the drummer, well, it’s his job to get all the gear packed up and in the van while you and the rest of the band tackle that hen party that were eyeing you up from the first chord to the encore.

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If you want all the girls yourself, why not take a leaf out of Ed Sheeran’s book.

Go it alone, do it all yourself, then 100% of the audience is yours!

Ed is also another chap who is not blessed with the features of a male underwear model, yet he has women of all ages queuing up around the block for him.

He doesn’t even where his guitar that low or even shred and riff!

Is It True?

Yes, of course it is!

Playing guitar does give you much more of a chance of getting laid than the average non-guitarist.

It makes you sexier, more interesting, and shows your inner sensuality.

Well… that may all be bollocks.

However, looking at the examples we provided in the form of Keith Richards, Mick Mars, Angus Young, and Ed Sheeran, playing guitar does make average-ugly guys much more attractive to the opposite sex.

Orianthi and Lzzy Hale prove the same effect is evident on guys.

So yes, if you really want to nail that girl you have been stalking on Facebook for the past year, pick up a guitar, learn some cheesey ballads and woo her all the way to your bedroom.

If that doesn’t work, there’s always Rohypnol.

Rock N Roll!